mental health

My (brief) time in a psych ward

CW: self harm, suicide   So, it happened. I spent the first months of my PhD fighting crippling anxiety, but ultimately, it won and I decided to quit. But me being me, it couldn’t be a quiet decision, I had to hit the bottom and hit it hard. I was scared shitless of my supervisor’s reaction, I feared I had to face anger and disappointment (spoiler: my supervisor was instead incredibly sweet and sympathetic) and that fear caused me to… Leggi tutto »My (brief) time in a psych ward


CW: suicide, self harm If you ask random people what OCD is, they’ll talk about being super clean, washing one’s hands often, or being extra fixated on order or numbers. I, too, once thought that having OCD simply meant obsessing over certain rituals, ie switching the lights off and on three times over, something on these lines. But this is not entirely right, and I learned that the hard way – when I’ve been diagnosed with OCD myself. OCD is… Leggi tutto »My OCD

My experience with therapists

I recently had a discussion with a troll about never questioning therapists, and it left me with a lot of thoughts on the matter. So here I am, writing a blog post about my experience with therapists and to say that… it’s okay to question them! Which is not to say that you should not trust your therapist, or that you should approach them in an antagonistic manner. Just that therapists are humans too, and as such, they can make… Leggi tutto »My experience with therapists

Outside the Binary

CW: dysphoria, self harm   The discovery of our gender identity can be a long journey. For me, it’s one that started last year, one I’d like to share on this blog – because sharing helps me keep track of my progress, and make order in my own thoughts. I’ve always identfied as cis-female, even after learning that non-binary is a thing (my best friend is non-binary and they’ve been out for some years), but in hindsight, I should have… Leggi tutto »Outside the Binary

Books and family

CW: suicide, abuse I just finished one of the best book I’ve read in 2019: Jade City, by Fonda Lee. I utterly loved it, it’s a compelling story with unforgettable characters, and I’m already itching to get my hands on the sequel. So, what are you waiting for? Go read it! This won’t be a review, though. Because one of the reasons Lee’s books struck me so hard is that… it revolves around a family, into which I’ve seen my… Leggi tutto »Books and family

On Writing Characters with Mental Illnesses

(Image: The Depression Monster by Toby Allen) CW: Depression, Suicide I suffer from depression. I’ve been diagnosed at the age of ninenteen (I’m now 24) and need constant medication, since there’s something screwed in my serotonine cycle. My grandfather suffered from severe bipolar disorder. My best friend, too, has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. So, you see, I’m quite familiar with mental illnesses. And because of this, I usually hate, hate, HATE the way they’re portrayed in media (books,… Leggi tutto »On Writing Characters with Mental Illnesses